The truth is I'm afraid of my own mind. I'm afraid of where I go It's like a minefield in my head Part of me wants to be forgotten But also remembered for, not necessarily surviving my CPTSD and psychosis but that I can inspire I'm drowning in my mind The fears I can't deny My soul is flying high The dice they rolled A very long time ago You won't find me in the present For I linger in His presence Some body pray for me I need to succeed in finding inner peace Most of my friends have vanished In the midst of psychotic panic The one I loved is a psychopath I'm dragging my heart to the hearth But I'll pray this pain away Oh I want to fade away My truth has been denied I will write it here I'm innocent of any accusation I sought out a friend only Only find she's vicious Now I'm conscious and awake My truth will make the globe shake Are you ready to hear it? Cause I wanna tell it I don't want no charity I'm trapped in a spell I cannot break My mama tells me I should breathe But theres a breath enveloping me I wanna protect my mam and family But I can't help feel like a sacrific To make them seem good And I maligned No matter what I've done It's never been good enough For my mam I say pray my pain away Cause I can't love a narcissist One who sees me as her extension Oh there's so much tension Mama, I forgive you for failing me But I beg you let me speak Can't you see your pride is where the devil hides I've died a thousand deaths And don't none of you forget

Some say I'm a vixen of lust Maybe I have a few screws loose I want to claw all the way in  Where does it end? Where does it begin?  I'm a human rag doll in the depths Of thought and scheme one can dream Fifty seven seas are torn at the seams At the end souls will scream and teeth nash  You drove into my brain  It's a megaphone let it rain Love is sealed in metal glove Of iron steel in an alcove Take my tears and taint with His love Oh how you tease me  There's a black dove on the window sill Take your toxic desire and rotten will