Psychotica

The truth is I'm afraid of my own mind.

I'm afraid of where I go

It's like a minefield in my head

Part of me wants to be forgotten

But also remembered for, not necessarily surviving my CPTSD and psychosis but that I can inspire

I'm drowning in my mind

The fears I can't deny

My soul is flying high

The dice they rolled

A very long time ago

You won't find me in the present

For I linger in His presence

Some body pray for me

I need to succeed in finding inner peace

Most of my friends have vanished

In the midst of psychotic panic

The one I loved is a psychopath

I'm dragging my heart to the hearth

But I'll pray this pain away

Oh I want to fade away

My truth has been denied

I will write it here

I'm innocent of any accusation

I sought out a friend only

Only find she's vicious

Now I'm conscious and awake

My truth will make the globe shake

Are you ready to hear it?

Cause I wanna tell it

I don't want no charity

I'm trapped in a spell I cannot break

My mama tells me I should breathe

But theres a breath enveloping me

I wanna protect my mam and family

But I can't help feel like a sacrific

To make them seem good

And I maligned

No matter what I've done

It's never been good enough

For my mam

I say pray my pain away

Cause I can't love a narcissist

One who sees me as her extension

Oh there's so much tension

Mama, I forgive you for failing me

But I beg you let me speak

Can't you see your pride is where the devil hides

I've died a thousand deaths

And don't none of you forget