NAME WITH NO FAME
"Le nom sans renommée"
Neither my name …. prefix to fame
Nor do my last name…. sparks into flame
All do what I crown, owe to myself
Is this you should own, to be yourself ?
Much have appeared to the world
None have appreciated into word.
Folks try to hide an era of reality
And jokes ride over the mentality!
What a shame to remain in big bliss?
By those who starve until night…. miss
Could have bit dig out some gold…. money
For have got the joy of being bold honey!
Might not have won any great game,
Or taste the best victory in thou name,
All do what I have, collected from pray;
For that's how I, cling to make my day.
Neither my name …. prefix to fame
Nor do my last name sparks to flame
Could've been in vain, if not shared the pain
And must hold the torch until the last rain!!
By Priyanka Raj
Twitter : @mahipriyankaraj @Realistic Poetry #BluesPoetry #SocialBlues
Much have appeared to the world
None have appreciated into word Perhaps "Much" should be "Many"
All do what I crown, owe to myself
Is this you should own, to be yourself! What is "this"? It speaks of myself, and then transistions to 'you/yourself.' This is how it actually reads: All do what I crown, owe to myself is this you should own, to be yourself! Eventhough it is broken lines, it does not make sense. Line breaks are important for pause, but the next line has to make sense with the one preceeding it. World and word do not rhyme, breaking your rhythm. Should probably read: All do what I crown, owe to myself And that/this you should own, to be yourself! I suspect that your words would flow in your native tongue, but the broken english distracts. I am sorry Priyanka... Dispite your good imagination, the poem sounds somewhat forced.