I went to the local writing center the other day to find out when where why and how a
comma is used. I felt like a student in a Spanish IV Class, who had never learned Spanish 1.
This is what I learned;
Introductory words like however, still, furthermore, and meanwhile, may create
continuity for some, but for me, they create havoc and a fear of non-understanding that causes
me to break out in a cold sweat.
An introductory element requiring a comma is a paradox for my brain.
Elements and clauses make me go insane.
Prepositional phrases and verbal phrases to fragment, appositive phrases.
And oh-lord, don’t ever leave out absolute phrases.
I have a phrase; “What the hell, over“?
I feel like a man in a life raft in the middle of this sea of rules and phrases.
I just want to know, when do I use a comma?
Someone once asked me if English was my first language?
I told her that if she could understand the words I was saying, then I need not answer that question;
but if she could explain to me what a “gerund”, or an infinitive phrase was, that life it’s self would be complete.
Her “I know something you don’t know” smirk made me want to quote my earlier phrase.
If you leave out the clause or word, I was once asked, does the sentence make sense?
None of it makes sense to me.
My mind gets more confused than an absent-minded student trying to decide if he should add or leave out the Spanish word “Cauca” in an English paper.
“Compound predicate, and comma abuse”, she said, and don’t ever forget the dependent
subordinate clause.
Sometimes the words come together so fast in my head, it’s as if a grenade of letters had
just exploded in my mind, sending letters and words flying like fragments of red hot steel.
Once cooled, I gather the blackened pieces of my thoughts together and try to put them in some kind of
logical order, but then the logic eludes me.
“what the hell, over”, I think again.
Who was I kidding, I’ll never conquer, let alone understand, the language of English.
T.A. Dieringer.